Good Day to Die

// // Today  was a beautiful day outdoors, 71*, soft breeze, blue sky and sunshine.

Inside I was feeling like thick mud that is impossible to walk through when it’s chest high.  And it kept inching higher.  I had quickly gone from feeling great yesterday to badly depressed today.  By this afternoon I wanted to die.  And I had a couple of ideas as to how.  I struggled to push through doing laundry, going outside to remove dead patches from our bushes, but it was still tough.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been through this scenario.  There has to be a better way than suicide but when I get this low I consider it.  When I hit bottom, there are no other options.  My remedy: Go to bed and hubby must keep a careful eye on me ’til the mood passes.

Docs, please find something to help us soon.

I hope to have some interesting sites to share with you soon.

Godspeed,               J

Published in: on March 8, 2010 at 6:02 PM  Comments (4)  
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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’ve never know anyone with severe bipolar disorder, at least not to the extent that you are experiencing, and I must say, it is enlightening to see how different two sides of life can be.

    • Thank you for your comment, awhimsicalsoul. It is my desire to give some insight to others by sharing my journey. With time, I hope to share some information that I have found invaluable from other trusted websited. I’d like to build a resource here once I’ve gained some trust. Once again thank you for reading and for your comment. I’ll check out your site.

      Godspeed, J

      • I will definitely share your experiences with some of my friends, as one never knows when one’s own life will take a spiral downward. Hope you succeed in battling against such a difficult disorder =)

      • Thank you. I want to help as many as possible.

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